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160 lighthearted Christmas jokes ‘Yule’ love during the holidays

his holiday season, when you're sending out cards, remember to make your loved ones laugh with a clever pun or joke.

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160 lighthearted Christmas jokes: The Christmas lights, joyful greetings, and carols that are audible almost everywhere serve as evidence that the best time of the year is officially here.

It’s also an opportunity to indulge in a little classic consumerism and choose the ideal presents for your mom, partner, or childhood friend. This holiday season, when you’re sending out cards, remember to make your loved ones laugh with a clever pun or joke. During the office holiday party, make a memorable impression on your colleagues by sharing a humorous Christmas joke.

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Use these hilarious puns to turn “Ho, ho, ho” into “Ha, ha, ha” this Christmas:

Christmas jokes

  • How many letters are in the Christmas alphabet? 25—there’s Noel.
  • Did you hear about what happened to the man who stole the advent calendar? He got 25 days.
  • Why is the Grinch such a good gardener? He has a green thumb.
  • How did one sheep greet the other for the holidays? Wool-tide bleatings!
  • What’s Tarzan’s favorite Christmas song? Jungle bells.
  • What type of key do you need to put on a Nativity play? A don-key.
  • Why was the advent calendar afraid? Its days were numbered!
  • Where does Mistletoe go to become famous? Holly-wood.
  • What do you get when you cross a pig and Christmas tree lights? A piglet!
  • Have you heard about the brand new Christmas newspaper? It’s “The Herald-Angels Sing.”
  • What do sheep say at Christmas? Merry Christmas to ewe.
  • What do you call a Christmas rom-com about bread? Loaf Actually.
  • What is a lamb’s favorite Christmas carol? Have Yourself a Mary Little Christmas.
  • What’s green, covered in tinsel and goes “ribbet ribbet?” A mistle-toad.
  • What’s the best present to receive? A broken drum, you just can’t beat it.
  • How does a sheep greet you for Christmas? Fleece Navidad.
  • How does Christmas Day end? With the letter “Y.”
  • Why did Scrooge keep a pet lamb? Because it would say, “Baaa humbug!”
  • What falls in the winter but never gets hurt? Snow.
  • How did Scrooge win the football game? The ghost of Christmas passed.
  • What’s the Grinch’s least favorite band? The Who.
  • What’s a dog’s favorite Christmas song? Bark, the Herald Angels Sing.
  • What carol is heard in the desert? O camel ye faithful.
  • Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? Santa Jaws.
  • What do fish sing at Christmas time? Christmas Corals!
  • How did Mary and Joseph know Jesus’ weight when he was born? They had a weigh in a manger.

Santa jokes

  • Did you hear about when Santa got stuck in the chimney? He was feeling a bit Claus-trophobic.
  • Who delivers presents to cats? Santa paws.
  • What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson.
  • How can you tell that Santa is real? You can always sense his presents.
  • Which U.S. state is Santa’s favorite? Idaho-ho-ho!
  • What is Santa’s favorite type of music? Wrap.
  • What do you call a bankrupt Santa? Saint Nick-less.
  • Why does Santa use a chimney? It soots him.
  • Who is Santa’s favorite singer? Beyon-sleigh.
  • What do you get if you cross Saint Nick with a detective? Santa Clues!
  • What does Santa clean his sleigh with? Santa-tizer.
  • What did Mrs. Claus say when Santa asked about the weather. “It looks like rain, dear.”
  • How does Santa measure his bag? In Santa-meters.
  • How do you know Santa is good at karate? He has a black belt.
  • Why does Santa work at the North Pole? Because the penguins kicked him out of the South Pole.
  • What brand of shoe does Santa wear? I don’t know, boots me!
  • What’s Santa’s nationality? North Pole-ish.
  • How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing, it was on the house.
  • Why did Santa get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve? He left his sleigh in a snow parking zone!
  • What’s the difference between Santa Clause and a knight? One slays a dragon, the other drags a sleigh

Elf jokes

  • Why did Santa’s helper start going to therapy? He had low “elf” esteem.
  • What do Santa’s helpers learn in school? The elf-abet.
  • What do you call a frozen elf? An elfcicle!
  • What would you find on an elf’s Instagram account? Lots of elf-ies.
  • What is an elf’s favorite candy? Orna-mints.
  • What do you call an elf that just won the lottery? Welfy.
  • What sport do Christmas elves compete in? North Pole-vaulting.
  • Who is the best singer in the North Pole? Elf-is Presley.
  • What’s an elf’s favorite sport? Miniature golf.
  • What was the elf allergic to? Sh-Elf-ish.
  • What do you call Santa’s little helpers? Subordinate clauses!
  • Why did the elf put his bed into the fireplace? So he could sleep like a log.
  • If there were 11 elves and another joined them, what would he be? The twelf.
  • What did the elf get when he crossed a bell with a skunk? Jingle smells.
  • What kind of car does an elf drive? A toy-ota.
  • How did the elf give her final project at school? With a present-ation.
  • What song did the elf’s teammates sing as he rounded third base in the annual holiday baseball game? Please Come Home for Christmas.
  • What did the elf on the shelf dress up as for Halloween? Prankenstein.
  • What do elves cook with in the kitchen? Utinsels.

Reindeer jokes

  • Why didn’t Rudolph make honor roll in school this term? Because he went down in history.
  • What do reindeers decorate their trees with? Horn-aments.
  • Which reindeer does Santa always have to discipline? Rude-olph.
  • What do you call a reindeer with no eyes? No-eye-deer.
  • What did Santa give his reindeer with a stomach bug? Elk-a-seltzer.
  • Which of Santa’s reindeers loved to party? Dancer!
  • How much does it cost to run Santa’s sleigh? Eight bucks, or nine if the weather is bad.
  • Where do Santa’s reindeer stop for ice cream when their job is done? Deery Queen.
  • What do reindeer eat for breakfast? Deer-ios.
  • Why do Dasher and Dancer get to take so many coffee breaks? They are Santa’s star bucks!
  • How is a reindeer like a coin? It has a head on one side and a tail on the other.
  • Why is Scrooge so excellent to Santa’s reindeer? He values every buck.
  • What is brown, white and red all over? A sunburned reindeer.
  • How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming? He looks at the calen-deer.
  • Did Rudolph go to public school? No, he was elf-taught.
  • What did Rudolph say when he won the lottery? Christmas be my lucky day!
  • Why was Rudolph directing the Christmas play? Because Santa asked Rudolph: “Won’t you guide my play tonight?”
  • Why did the reindeer cross the road? To fly to the other side.
  • Why does Rudolph fly? Because he can’t drive!
  • What do reindeer say before they tell a joke? This one will sleigh you!

Presidential Jokes Day Wishes, Messages, Quotes and Jokes

Snowman jokes

  • What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
  • How did the snowman get to work? By icicle!
  • What song do you sing at a snowman’s birthday party? “Freeze” a jolly good fellow.
  • What do you call a snowman who likes to take tropical vacations? A puddle.
  • What did one snowman in a field say to the other? I don’t know about you, but I can smell carrots.
  • What do snowmen do on the weekends? Chill!
  • What’s the name of the summer king of snowmen? King Meltin.
  • What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ice caps.
  • How do snowmen lose weight? They wait for the weather to get warmer.
  • What’s a snowman’s favorite school activity? Snow and tell.
  • What do you call a snowman with a six pack? The abdominal snowman.
  • How do you greet a snowman? Ice to meet you!
  • What do snowmen call their offspring? Chill-dren.
  • What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes.
  • What does Frosty the Snowman like to put on iceberg-ers? Chilly sauce.
  • What kind of mug does a snowman like to use for his drinks? A frosted one.
  • How do you scare a snowman? Pull out a hair dryer.
  • How do you know if a snowman has gotten into your freezer? If he’s still there.
  • What do you call a snowman party? A snowball.

Christmas food jokes

  • What do grapes sing at Christmas? ‘Tis the season to be jelly.
  • Where do you find chili beans? At the North Pole!
  • Why shouldn’t you prank the eggnog? It can’t take a yolk.
  • Why do so many people drink eggnog around the holidays? It’s sold everywhere, you just can’t egg-nore it.
  • Who is the only one to not eat at Christmas dinner? The turkey, it’s always stuffed!
  • What’s the best thing to put into a Christmas cake? Your teeth.
  • What did one cranberry say to the other at Christmas time? Berry Christmas!
  • What did the gingerbread man get when he broke his leg? A candy cane.
  • What did the gingerbread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet.
  • Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor? He was feeling crumby.
  • What’s red, white and blue at Christmas time? A sad candy cane.
  • Who hides in a bakery on Christmas? A mince spy.
  • How does Darth Vader enjoy his Christmas Turkey? On the dark side!

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